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Anxiety in Children and Adolescents: A Guide for Parents

Anxiety in Children and Adolescents: A Guide for Parents


Anxiety is a common aspect of infancy and adolescence, but there is a distinction between everyday anxiety and chronic anxiety. By understanding the distinctions, you can assist your child in effectively managing their symptoms.

Understanding childhood and adolescent anxiety

Parents always want the best for their offspring. We want them to be robust, content, and resilient in the face of life's difficulties. Due to daily demands and parental responsibilities, this is often simpler to say than to do. Anxiety is a prevalent issue among children, adolescents, and teenagers, and is frequently encountered at various stages of development. Anxiety disorders can be diagnosed for the first time in children between the ages of four and eight, while a recent survey found that approximately 32% of adolescents in the United States have an anxiety disorder, a figure that has increased dramatically over the years. The study also revealed that one in four to five adolescents with an anxiety disorder have a severe disability.

As a result of the disruptions to their normal school, family, and peer relationships, the COVID-19 pandemic has increased anxiety in children and adolescents. In these stressful times, it can be difficult to distinguish between normal concerns and anxiety disorders in children and adolescents. For instance, adolescents frequently worry about their schoolwork or upcoming examinations, but this anxiety is typically transient once the immediate stressor has passed. However, if a child's fretting is persistent and interferes with their daily functioning, it can have a negative impact on their quality of life.

As a parent, grappling with your child's anxiety can be challenging, but the good news is that anxiety is a highly treatable condition. There is also much you can do to assist your child. Rather than assuming that your child will transcend their anxiety, it is preferable to take immediate action to help them manage their symptoms and regain control over how they perceive the world.

Symptoms of anxiety in kids versus adolescents

The symptoms of anxiety in children and adolescents vary substantially and are frequently misdiagnosed. Anxiety disorders in children are characterized by irritability, nervousness, excessive concern, shyness, sleep difficulties, and/or physical symptoms, such as headaches or digestive problems.

The events occurring in the world have a significant impact on children. They may also experience feelings of anxiety or shame, as well as exhaustion and social isolation. Additionally, children with anxiety may have trouble finding friends and engaging in other social activities.

Among the most common childhood symptoms are:

  • Lack of concentration.
  • Sleep difficulties and visions.
  • Having temper outbursts or anger management issues.
  • Being agitated or fidgety.
  • Frequent sobbing episodes.
  • Frequent complaints about not feeling well.

The majority of a teenager's concerns are associated with their emotions about themselves. These may include academic performance and the pressure to succeed in school, how they are perceived by others, and body image concerns related to physical development.

Teenagers have a propensity to conceal their thoughts and emotions, so anxiety is not always evident. Among the warning indicators to watch out for are:

  • Constant anxieties or concerns regarding mundane aspects of their existence.
  • Abstinence from acquaintances and social activities.
  • Irritability or aggression toward others.
  • Academic difficulties or a precipitous decline in performance.
  • The refusal to attend education.
  • Sleep disorders.
  • Alcohol and drug abuse.
  • Constantly seeking comfort.

Whatever the specific symptoms of your child or adolescent, anxiety can negatively impact their thoughts, emotions, and physical health. In turn, this can hinder their ability to function academically and socially. Recognizing the root causes of their anxiety symptoms is the first step in assisting them with the issue.

Childhood anxiety causes

There are numerous causes of childhood anxiety. Most likely, anxiety disorders are induced by a combination of environmental and biological factors. Anxiety tends to flow in families and affects girls more frequently than boys.

Anxiety disorders include a range of mental health conditions, such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, and other specific phobias. Some children also suffer from separation anxiety, characterized by dread and distress when away from home.

Children and adolescents may experience multiple types of anxiety simultaneously. Children are most commonly affected by separation anxiety, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety.

The onset of an anxiety disorder is often triggered by stressful events, such as abrupt changes in their lives, difficulties in school, having additional responsibilities beyond their level of maturity, stress from family situations, or traumatic experiences, including being bullied or other forms of abuse.

Anxious parents or parents who are overprotective of their children may also contribute to their child's anxiety. Research conducted in 2021 revealed that parental support is an essential factor for adolescents' mental health. By encouraging your child to develop coping mechanisms such as acceptance, distraction, and a positive outlook, you can aid in enhancing their well-being and reducing their tension and anxiety.

Social media's involvement in childhood anxiety

Particularly adolescents and adolescents spend countless hours on their smartphones texting and messaging peers and engaging with their Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter accounts. Receiving social media notifications throughout the day can affect an individual's self-perception. This can be a positive and enjoyable experience in some ways, but it can also heighten feelings of anxiety, isolation, and melancholy.

While social media can help children and adolescents remain connected and maintain closer relationships with friends and family, it can also promote bullying and have a negative effect on their self-image and self-esteem.

A 2019 study of over 6,500 12 to 15-year-olds in the United States revealed that those who spent more than three hours per day on social media had an increased risk for mental health issues. An internal Facebook study conducted in 2021 revealed that adolescents may struggle with heightened social comparison and peer pressure, citing Instagram as a source that may exacerbate existing mental health issues.


First aiding your child with anxiety hint: Respond appropriately to their anxiety.

As a parent coping with an anxious child, it is crucial that you maintain as much composure and optimism as possible. The manner in which you respond to your child's thoughts and actions can have a significant impact on their coping abilities.

Discuss your child's anxieties with them

Initiate a conversation with your child by asking him or her to describe his or her concerns. It is neither supportive nor validating to simply tell a child not to worry or to cease thinking about their problems. It is preferable to reassure your child that it is acceptable for them to feel fearful, and to assure them that you will be there to support them every step of the way.

If your infant has trouble expressing their emotions, ask them to tell you a story about how they feel. By stepping outside of themselves, your child may feel more at ease and be better able to articulate their emotions.

Display concern and sympathy

The combination of expressing encouragement and compassion with a collaborative approach to finding viable solutions can be a potent instrument. According to research, maternal empathy has a significant impact on reducing children's distress.

Inform your child that anxiety is not something to be embarrassed of and that you are there to help them understand what causes their anxiety and find coping mechanisms. This collaborative approach fosters your child's ability to tolerate their own anxiety while strengthening the bond between you and your child.

Be encouraging but not commanding

The key is to assist your child in managing their anxiety without attempting to eliminate it entirely. By attentively listening and displaying empathy, you are already providing a substantial amount of support.

You can also discuss strategies for handling various situations. For example, if your child has separation anxiety and was at a friend's house feeling anxious about returning home, you should consider appropriate responses. Your child could ask the mother of their friend what time you'll be picking them up, or they could ask the mother to contact you to find out what time you'll arrive. Having these strategies in place can help reassure your child and alleviate their anxiety.

Develop your child's coping abilities

Instead of averting your child's anxiety triggers, you can assist them in the development of effective coping mechanisms. Frequent positive reinforcement will help your child feel more capable and self-confident. Set modest, realistic, and attainable objectives. When a goal is accomplished, you can remark, "I'm so proud of how you handled the situation and overcame your anxiety."

Focus on praising your child's effort whenever they demonstrate any type of resilience or confront their fears. Assure your child that a setback is not a failure, but rather a learning opportunity that will help them surmount future obstacles. Discuss what they could do differently next time to achieve a better result. As they gain control of the circumstance, they will feel more empowered.

Be an exemplary role model for your offspring

Your child looks to you for guidance and needs you to teach them how to deal with stress and anxiety. The manner in which you respond to and express anger is a prominent example. Try to maintain as much composure and tolerance as possible when facing problems and difficult situations. The way you communicate and the topics you discuss can also have a significant impact on the values and behavior of even a difficult teenager.

Parents who take care of themselves by getting adequate rest, exercising frequently, and consuming a healthy diet can encourage their children to do the same. If you practice yoga, meditation, or other relaxation techniques, your offspring may be more concerned with their own health. However, refrain from making negative remarks about your own body, as this can lead to low self-esteem and body shaming.

Providing your children with an example of a wholesome lifestyle can also teach them valuable lessons. All of us make mistakes, and children should understand that even though their parents have flaws, they can still surmount adversity. This can assist in eliminating unnecessary constraints that may be contributing to your child's anxiety.

Practice relaxation techniques with your child as Step 3

Offer to engage your child in some profound breathing or meditation exercises. This will acknowledge their feelings and provide proactive relaxation techniques for you to attempt together. When adolescents are anxious, they typically breathe more shallowly. Your infant can practice deep abdominal breathing by placing one hand on their chest and the other on their abdomen. When they inhale, their abdomen should expand, whereas when they exhale, it should contract.

The practice of mindful breathing involves concentrating on breathing and paying attention to the present instant. Have your child close his or her eyes and breathe in and out steadily. They can assess their body for areas of tension as they breathe. The individual can then visualize a sense of warmth and solace to alleviate the pain in these areas.

Children and adolescents of a more mature age may also take pleasure in investigating various forms of yoga, meditation, guided imagery, and other relaxation techniques.

Each day, one should practice turning off mobile phones and social media and tuning into their "happy place." Your adolescent can recall a specific memory or circumstance that induces feelings of calm, security, and contentment. Perhaps this is associated with time spent at the beach, a tranquil vacation location, or being surrounded by nature. Visualizing beautiful images or listening to soothing sounds is an ideal method to achieve this state of relaxation.

Tip 4: Promote healthy sleep hygiene

Since anxious children frequently have difficulty sleeping, it is essential to establish a predictable and calming bedtime regimen. Establish a regular sleep schedule, limiting exercise and light exposure near bedtime, and avoiding caffeine.

Ensure that your infant feels safe and comfortable at bedtime, with minimal distractions to aid in falling asleep. Their chamber should be cool, peaceful, and inviting. Computers, phones, televisions, and video games should be put away at least one hour before nighttime. This is the perfect time to read to your child or play soothing music. A young infant may feel safer with a nightlight on, a stuffed animal, or a soft blanket.

Encourage healthful use of social media

Due to the fact that social media has both positive and negative effects, it is a good idea to have discussions with children about the pros and cons of social media.

Instead of simply attempting to force your child to put away their phone, which may only increase their anxiety, you can take the following steps:

  • Set a positive example for your child by limiting your own screen time and social media participation.
  • Instead of focusing on the number of "likes" their social media posts receive, encourage your child to engage in more face-to-face interaction with peers and creative activities. If early screen time does not become a habit, children will learn to occupy themselves with other activities.
  • Establish a time when the entire family is screen-free, including phones and computers. This can be a daily activity for a brief period of time, or a weekend activity if you have family obligations.
  • Remind adolescents in particular that the images they see on social media are frequently altered digitally and do not represent reality accurately. Similarly, posts about parties or events to which they were not invited are frequently made to appear more enjoyable than they were.
  • Encourage your child to sever ties with those who post unfavorable comments about him or her, and urge him or her to be responsible when posting comments about others. Especially adolescents can be impulsive and unaware that the content they share may be harmful or inappropriate.
  • If social media is affecting your child's academics, sleep, or participation in outside activities, reduce screen time.

Additional advice for assisting a teenager

Many of the above-mentioned techniques are effective for both infants and adolescents with anxiety. Despite the fact that adolescents and teenagers typically have some knowledge of anxiety and anxiety disorders, additional strategies may be useful.

Communicate with your adolescent about anxiety.

Assure your adolescent that, under certain conditions, anxiety can also serve as a protective emotion. Anxiety keeps us secure by alerting us to potential threats. Occasionally, that uneasy feeling in the stomach may be an indicator of a prospective threat. Since paying attention to these warning signals is a method for avoiding dangerous situations, anxiety can serve a useful purpose. You can also help your adolescent feel less apprehensive about their anxiety by discussing what they can do to improve a specific situation in the future.

Maintain communication with your adolescent. Maintaining effective communication with adolescents can be challenging and even awkward at times. As they become more independent, teenagers will not always confide in their parents. A supportive communication style will increase their comfort and confidence in expressing their emotions.

It is essential to establish consistent contact with adolescents and inquire about their day. They may not provide extensive information, but they will recognize your genuine interest and concern. A few words of encouragement can go a long way. Tell your teen that you are pleased of them and their progress. If they express concern or anxiety about a specific situation, this is an occasion to initiate a deeper discussion. Validate their emotions by stating, "I understand that this is a difficult situation" or "that sounds extremely hurtful."

Employ active listening techniques. Teens seek out parental support and outlets for emotional expression. By attentively listening and validating their feelings without judgment or criticism, you can help alleviate their anxiety symptoms. You can accomplish this by giving your adolescent your undivided attention, making eye contact to demonstrate your interest, and nodding occasionally to demonstrate your attentiveness. Avoid interrupting your adolescent while they are speaking so that they feel secure expressing themselves fully.

Prepare yourself to handle challenging situations. Discuss rational and irrational responses to the challenges your adolescent faces, whether they are related to school, social relationships, or general life issues. Recognize that certain situations can be anxiety-provoking, but place them in the appropriate context to prevent these feelings from being exaggerated and causing additional anxiety. Teenagers may intentionally or unintentionally exaggerate their feelings of hurt or anxiety and become argumentative if they believe their parents do not comprehend.

When discussing their response to a given situation, suggest alternative approaches that may have been more effective. For instance, if your adolescent received a failing grade on an exam and responded by designating themselves as stupid or believing they will never graduate, you can assist them in reframing these irrational beliefs. Help them adopt a more realistic perspective by emphasizing that it is only one test and that they can improve their grades by studying more or working with a tutor.

Build your teen's self-esteem

Focus on your teen's assets rather than their weaknesses. Instead of emphasizing their apprehension, you can highlight their positive qualities. It can be as easy as praising your adolescent's thoughtfulness, compassion, or consideration for others. Your adolescent may also possess intellectual or character qualities that distinguish them as individuals. Instead of feeling like they don't belong, emphasize that their individuality is something to be celebrated.

  • Developing resiliency and self-confidence can help your adolescent recognize their capacity for independent problem-solving. If they perform well on an examination or school assignment, you can do more than simply congratulate them. You can also remind them of how much time they spent studying and preparing. This will demonstrate the importance of their efforts to succeed, as opposed to constantly fretting about the outcome.
  • If your adolescent has a specific interest or talent, such as art, music, or sports, you can use this to sustain their motivation. Demonstrating your pride and recognizing the benefits of their hard work will boost their confidence. Mastering any talent will boost their self-esteem and distract them from their anxiety. Remember that this is not about striving to be perfect; rather, the objective is for them to exert their best effort based on their abilities.

Consider the expectations you establish. High expectations and pressure to thrive can frequently leave adolescents feeling overwhelmed. Realistic objectives can aid in guiding students toward academic improvement without adding to their concerns regarding grades and test scores.

Demonstrate the worth of assisting others. Engaging in beneficial activities that benefit others can enhance a teen's sense of self-worth and provide a productive, healthy diversion from their anxiety. Encourage them to seek out volunteer opportunities in the community that align with their interests. In addition to improving social skills and fostering a sense of belonging, joining a group or club with other teenagers who share the same interests can also enhance social skills.


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